Friday, January 18, 2008

Flat Broke

So, apparently having a blog is the thing for stay-at-home moms to do.  Don't feel like you are getting enough adult interaction during the day?  Blog.  Feel like you no longer connect with anyone on a personal and intimate level.  Read a blog.  Feel like you have no one to listen to the struggles that you face on a day-to-day basis?  Blog.  Then read a blog for advise on said topic. 
And I guess I am being very hypocritical by typing all of this, because hi, you are reading my blog.  One that I started for the simple purpose of expressing myself (i.e. preventing the need to be put in jail) when I feel like smothering the next thing that requires me to change it's butt.  And I read blogs regularly.  Well, I read two blogs regularly.    But I don't want that to be enough for me.  I struggle with all of the problems that I listed at the beginning of this.  But I don't want a band-aid type fix.  I want to connect with people on a very personal basis.  I want to be able to claim a few friends again. 
A couple of weeks ago a friend of ours from Reno that just got stationed at Fort Hood called and asked if I could give him a ride from the airport here out to the base.  I, of course, said that I could, but round trip it took about 3 1/2 hours.  And he didn't land here until just after 10 pm. After I had made the plans I thought about how it might actually be fun, but I was heart broken when I realized that there was no one here that I could call up to make the trip with me.  A few years ago there would have been a number of people that I could have called and the trip would have been a blast.  Good conversation, loud music and junk food.  But I don't have those kind of friends anymore.  No one that I could say would be an unconditional friend.  I don't even feel like there is anyone I can call at anytime when I need to talk.  Please don't get me wrong here, my husband is an amazing listener.  He is my best friend, and I can talk to him about almost anything.  But that is not the only relationship that I need in my life.  I want to be rich in friends.  I want there to be people in my life again that are close enough to just show up at my house, unannounced, and then help themselves to my fridge.  I want to feel like there is somewhere that I would be welcomed to do the same.  I just don't know where to find them.  Let me know if you here of a place that has them on sale.

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