Thursday, December 27, 2007


I hate hurting people.  Most of the time.  I will admit that there have been times in my life that I have enjoyed it, but for the most part I hate hurting people.  I don't mean to sound as though I do it often, but there are times when it is unavoidable.  Tonight was one of those nights.   Don-e and I were given the possibility of an amazing opportunity today.  One that I can not go into detail yet, but if it does happen, it will be amazing for us, our family, and the rest of our life.  But taking advantage of this opportunity will hurt someone.  I should say sometwo.  And these are two people who mean very much to us.  And this pain is one that we can not prevent.  But tonight when we told them about it they cried.  And even sitting here thinking about it hurts my heart.  It makes me sick to my stomach even.  And I hate it.  Maybe what we did tonight will have all been for nothing.  It was a conversation to prepare these people for something that might happen that would hurt them, and it isn't for sure that it will happen at all.  So maybe tonight was all for nothing.  But if it wasn't, wonderful anonymous people, please know that no matter what, no matter where, you are un-replaceable to us. 

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Burnt Toast

I have tried really hard to fill my roll as a housewife.  For the most part I really enjoy it too.  I love being able to see my son first thing in the morning when has woken up of his own accord.  I love those precious minutes it takes him to float back to reality.  As his eyes flutter open and his whole face lights up with a smile.  I love that we don't have to rush off to be anywhere five days a week, even thought this choice makes the purse strings around here a little tighter.  Because I am so grateful for this situation I try to make the very best of it.  I do my best to be joyful during all of it.  The times that I like, and the ones that I would rather leave up to someone else.  I also try to make the most of the extra time in my home that I have. 

One example of that is the gifts that we have been giving to all of our neighbors for the holidays.  We don't know any of them very well, even after being in this house for almost 10 months, so we thought it would be nice to give a loaf of sweet bread to all of the families that live closest to us.  Specifically Amish Friendship Bread.  The thing with this bread is though, that it requires a starter that supposedly only the Amish know how to make.  I believe it works like a sourdough, as it has to actually ferment.  So these starters take 10 days of sitting and mashing before they are ready to bake.  I had the timing down perfectly.  I baked the last loaves on Monday to be given out to the families of our karate students who were taking class Monday night.  

So I had three of the loaves sitting on the counter, still cooling, when I started to make our dinner.  Now, with our smallish kitchen I usually need all the counter space I can get when I cook, so being the fantastic genius that I am, I thought that I would put the loaves of bread into the oven!  "It's turned off!", I thought, so I will just stick them in there for the few minutes it takes for me to put together dinner and then stick them in their gift bags and be done with it.  Except that a few minutes into preparing dinner I remembered that I needed to preheat the oven.  To 400 degrees.  I did not, however, remember that I had put the bread, saran-wrap and all, into the oven.  Smoke.  Lots of smoke, and lots of yucky burning plastic smell.  Not fun.  I was so very glad that the baby was still down for his afternoon nap, as some very choice words spewed from my mouth the moment I realized what I had done.  I did not give bread to these students that night.  I did not re-bake bread from another of the starters that I had.  I gave away every single thing Amish Friendship Bread that I had.  I smiled really big, the next time I saw these people, and wished them a very "Merry Christmas".

Saturday, December 15, 2007


I tried this once before.

Obviously, it didn't work.

And yet, here I am again.  Maybe this time it will work.  Maybe it won't.  But I need to try.  Not only for myself, but because we have family spread all over the country (hi family!) that needs to know what it going on in our life.  So here it is.  A semi-real time account of our day-to-day. Welcome.