The average bear has got me beat.

So sometimes I am not the smartest person out there.  I know, I know, this comes as a shock to some of you.  But it is true.  

Yesterday I went to make myself a cup of coffee only to realize that we were out of cream.  Now, just in case you didn't know, I don't "do" coffee black.  Or with powdered creamer if I can help it.  Powdered only happens in very dire situations.  So yesterday you can imagine my dilemma when I discovered our shortage of cream.  Oh, but wait!  We have milk!  All is not lost!  Except that the milk expired about a week ago.   But did that stop me?  Oh no.  "They only put those dates there as a precaution", I reasoned.  "I am sure that it is fine for weeks after that", I said convincingly.  Yeah, no.  Not a precaution.  Let me just tell you my toilet and I got very well acquainted.  I shall call him squishy.