Serenity Now

Overview

2011-02-22T20:57:00.003-06:00

Eeesh. Am writing slacker.

Bridgett will be one in..... eight days. She started walking about a week ago and has 8 teeth. She is such a happy, content baby just like her brother. Just like we told ourselves we would never get off so easy as to have a second time. She is a bit feistier. She actually throws temper tantrums even. Don-e calls her Serenity's daughter when it happens.

Elijah in no way resembles a baby at all. Or a toddler. He is all boy. A little man. Today after Don-e and I had finished jogging he tells Don-e he wants to run too and ends up running 1/2 mile. Then goes inside and runs around for twenty minutes while he tells me the story of running 1/2 a mile. He loves to tell stories. I have no idea where he comes up with half of them, but they are amazing. They make no sense whatsoever, but I am amazed every time he tells one.

Don-e passed the first test for the Austin Fire Department. If he gets no further I am more proud of him than I could ever say. 3,300 of the 5,500 guys that took the test didn't pass. But he did. He has made our business a successful one. He was let go from Hill Country the first of November and since that time has made Donkey Design flourish. He still makes my heart pound.

Hero is perfect. He lets my daughter poke her finger into his eye and my son sit on his head, and he is still perfect. And he still spoons with me when I want him too. Even sometimes when I don't.

I am good too.

Unexpected Blessings

2010-10-21T11:16:00.003-05:00

When Elijah was two he was an incredible sleeper. A little snack, a bedtime story, his prayer and he was down for 12 hours straight. He would stay in his bed in the morning until we came and got him. Perfect, easy baby. One night though, he started fussing. I could hear him fidgeting around and definitely not sleeping. This wasn't unusual, but I usually would just roll over and both of us would be asleep within a matter of minutes. This night though, this night was different. Call it mother's instinct or God's prompting but I got up. Let me just say, for the record that I was pregnant at this time so being upright was not always the most pleasant. It turned out that his diaper had leaked, which turned out to be miraculous itself. If he hadn't been wet I would have given him a kiss and told him to go back to sleep. But he was wet so I had to turn a light on to change him. I had to move him to his changing table so I could clean him up. And because I hadn't just rolled over, because he was wet and I had to get him out of bed I saw that his lammy had gotten wrapped around his thumb. So many times and so tight that the end of his thumb was moving well past purple on it's way to black. I have no doubt that had I not gotten up, had his diaper not leaked he would have lost the tip of his thumb. It was 2:00 in the morning. At least 6 hours before I would have gone into his room to get him.

Two nights ago, after a completely normal night, I had just gotten Elijah to go to bed and plopped down on our bed to look at Bridgett on the monitor. Don-e was at training so I was planning on doing some last minute chores and relaxing. But Bridgett was making some funny noises. She's been in bed for about an hour and a half, and it wasn't unusual for her to wake up but she would usually put herself back to sleep. But she was making funny noises so I laid down on my bed to check on her. She started vomiting. Horribly, and as she was on her back she was choking on it. I've never run so fast. What would have happened if I had been doing the dishes and hadn't heard her? If I had just ignored the urge to check the monitor. She was swallowing so much that she couldn't even cry. Afterwards she was fine. We took a shower and cuddled for awhile and then she went back to sleep without any further problems. Except that it happened again last night. Only we had already gone to bed. Again, with the perfect timing, at about 11:15 I woke up and turned the display part of Bridgett's monitor on. She had just started throwing up again. She was on her back and choking. Don-e hadn't fallen asleep yet, he was messing around on his phone, and as I had just come out of a dead sleep I yelled at him "she's choking, GO!" and then followed as fast as I could without walking into a wall. She again, was fine afterward. She has a cold and is teething so I think the amount of mucus and drool she swallows when she is laying down is what is making her sick. But I don't usually wake up in the middle of the night. What would have happened if I hadn't? What if we hadn't held her upright so she could clear out her airway? But this night I did. I rolled over at the perfect moment to see her start to be sick. And we were there to pick her up and make it all better. And one night, a year ago I was there to unwrap a beloved lammy and kiss a booboo.

All I can say is God is good.

Pretty Girl

2010-10-13T11:30:00.004-05:00

Bridgett is so close to crawling. She gets up on all fours and rocks back and forth, back and forth. She wants so bad to be able to move around the house with the rest of us. But more than that though she wants to be able to stand. To pull herself up to be closer to us, more like her brother.

She will only eat a good meal of baby food for her daddy. She has no patients for the stuff if I try to feed her. But she loves bites of whatever I am eating, straight from my plate. She doesn't have any teeth yet, but she gums anything we put in her mouth like she's been chewing for years.

It already looks like she is going to have a bit of a temper. But if you look at where she came from that shouldn't be a surprise. But it is only on rare occasions we see a glimps of it. And it is usually frustration at herself, and not being able to do everything she wants to.

She is willing to go anywhere, do anything. Elijah was such, a laid back, easy baby that I keep waiting for her to turn into a monster child. I mean, nobody is lucky enough to get two perfect kids, right?

Stuck Together

2010-10-02T07:33:00.006-05:00

Elijah stayed the night at his grandma's house last night. His 'old grandma' as he started calling my mom this past winter. She really did bring it on herself. She made a joke about being old to a very literal two year old. He will be three and a half next week.

Bridgett is very very close to crawling. She rolls and rolls and rolls to get where she wants to go, but is also pushing up onto all fours and rocking back and forth. She is also showing signs of wanting to pull up on things. She's seven months old today.

They get along so well. People with their stories and our pediatrician with his warnings had me very scared of what Elijah would become after the baby was born. He is nothing but a help with her. Bridgett will laugh for him better than she will for anyone else. Earlier this week I was rushing to put together a picnic lunch so we could go meet Don-e at a park on his break. B woke up while I was at it, but because she was talking and happy I left her in her bed. After a couple of minutes Elijah goes into her room, and a couple of minutes later I hear him call out, "Mom I'm stuck!" He's gotten his stool out of the bathroom and climbed into her bed with her.

Chocolate Bunny

2010-09-29T10:06:00.003-05:00

This morning, shortly after he'd finished his breakfast Elijah comes up to me and tells me he's still hungry.

"Oh yeah? What would you like to eat?"

"Umm.. a chocolate bunny."

"What? A chocolate bunny?"

"Yeah. You know, like at Easter, when I found all the eggs and put them in my basket. And I ate a chocolate bunny."

"Well honey, chocolate bunnies only happen at Easter time, and it's not Easter time right now."

"Oh. Well then you're the chocolate bunny." he says as he gnaws on my arm.

Cute, right?

So Much

2010-06-03T16:14:00.003-05:00

Have you ever seen anything more delicious? Me neither!

There is so much going on in life right now it's hard to know where to begin... Yesterday my little girl passed her three month mark. Unbelievably. She seems to be one of those babies that hits the 12 week mark and things become magically better. She's been sleeping through the night for several weeks now, but up until the last few days she has been a total pill with the process of actually going to sleep. She would fight and fight going to sleep at night, and almost never sleep during the day. The combination made for a grumpy little girl. I thought that maybe with as easy and laid back of a baby as Elijah was we were just getting our turn with a high maintenance baby, but since she's been sleeping better during the day she has become such a happy little girl! She is starting to figure out how to use her hands, which is so much fun. I think she may be starting the slippery road to teething, although I can not feel any little teeths yet. All in all our new little bundle is doing very well.

Elijah is doing amazing. A couple of weeks ago we started him at a preschool program. It is run out of a gymnastic place, so on top of the standard curriculum he gets to spend some time doing basic gymnastic moves. He comes home exhausted, which is awesome. We want to get him in their actual gymnastic program, but that will have to wait a bit.

As you probably guessed, we are doing some work on our house. A little bit more than some, actually. We're converting our garage into a master suite and adding room onto our kitchen/dining area. We will then open up what is our master bedroom now to make more of a great room area in our living room. Eventually we will add on a new garage, but all of this is being done in stages as we have the funds and a garage is on the bottom of the list. Don-e is doing all of the work himself, save for the little bit of help I can give around keeping two kids alive and some sporadic help from his Dad and friends. The man is amazing. I have no idea how he knows how to do so much. And he is doing all of this on top of his schoolwork and working full time and running a business. Talk about superman...

Not sure I have mentioned it here yet or not, but Don-e is going to be a fire fighter. That is what he is going to school for. He has tried to get into a couple of the smaller departments for towns around us, but his main goal is the Austin fire department. They will do their hiring the end of the summer. Keep your fingers crossed!

Just One

2010-04-20T14:41:00.002-05:00

It is amazing how easy one kid is! Looking back on how I used to think having just Elijah was I want to slap myself. I had a dentist appointment today so he went to his 'school' for the day. Just having an infant, even one that is insisting on fussing during the day, is cake! Although I did not attempt to take her to my appointment. Her daddy got to spend his lunch hour with her. And I am happy to report that I still have no cavities.

In other exciting news, little butt there is seven weeks today. It's amazing how fast the time is going. But enough talk like that, everyone always says that so there is no need for me to keep repeating it...

She slept well last night again in her own room. I'm hoping we will have no need to use the cradle again! And, as I am behind on keeping updates here... at her last doctors appointment, which was her one month check up, she weighted 9 lbs. 2 oz and was 20 3/4" long. Both put her in the 50th%. We will go in the first part of May for her next checkup, and her first round of shots!

Three

2010-04-19T12:48:00.002-05:00

We had Elijah's birthday party this past Saturday. It's hard to grasp that he is already three. Although sometimes it seems like he should be thirty. Like I've been a parent for forever!

It was a small party, with just the family and a few of his friends. He seemed to have a great time. He was completely spoiled, of course. He wanted a Thomas the Train party, which was really easy on me. Just lots of blue with some trains thrown in.

It seemed like everyone had a really good time!

In other exciting new, Tiny slept last night for six hours straight! But even more importantly she did it in her crib in her own room! Don-e and I are very excited about getting our room back. Not only for the obvious reason, but because we can't sleep with the ceiling fan on when she is in our room and getting too hot was giving us both nightmares!

Once again..

2010-03-28T17:02:00.006-05:00

Goodness gracious, what a drama queen I am. I just read my last post, and I have to admit that with all the whining I was doing I don't even remember what was wrong. Next time I write something like that I hope someone slaps me.

Life has changed quite a bit since last fall. I have a daughter. Surprise! Well, anybody that actually reads this wont be surprised, but if anyone ever comes and reads this straight through, well than... Surprise!

Now... on to some house cleaning... I do, constantly, feel drawn to create with the written word. I love writing, would even like to write a novel one day, but I do not think this blog is the way for me to express myself creatively. I think that I may have failed at blogging so terribly because I have been looking to it to be my creative outlet. I don't have enough confidence in my writing to truly put out into the black hole of the internet what I really want to write. So, in saying all that I am changing how I look at this web page. So welcome to an online update of our life. That's it. If you aren't interested in what happens in our life, go some place else to find your entertainment. I will be your monkey no longer!

Today is March 28th. I am sitting on our back porch in almost 80

degree weather while Don-e mows our lawn. Both of my children are napping. (Miraculous, I know) This morning we went with Don, Michelle and Christian to a park where we m

et some friends for a community Easter egg hunt. Elijah and Thaelon, our friends kid, were super cute with their baskets. Typical boys they spent the

entire time before the hunt hitting each other with them.

Now, to introduce you to Bridgett Nicole Harris. This picture is from the day we brought her home from the hospital. She was born on March 2nd, 2010. Which makes her birthday 3-2-10. Only the smart people will figure out why that is awesome.

This picture is from yesterday. Maybe the day before. I don't remember. Some days are a little hazy as we don't always get a lot of sleep!

She is, in most ways an amazing baby. She still has her days and nights mixed up a little bit, but as she isn't even 4 weeks old yet I suppose I should cut her some slack. She eats good, and poops good and really I shouldn't complain about the sleeping thing because she already is getting much better at it. And, she sleeps like a champ during the day!

I do have to say that having two kids is a lot of work. Way more than double the work of one. But I love it. Elijah is amazing with her already and while we have had a few little issues, he loves her. He even calls her HIS baby. Seeing Don-e cradle our little girl in his arms is one of the sweetest experiences of my life. I have to say, with almost no bias, that our little family is pretty much perfect.

Memories

2009-09-25T21:23:00.003-05:00

Lately I have been compelled to get back on here and start writing again. Life and sickness have prevented it, but I've really been wanting to push myself into pulling something out of myself creatively, for me. I'm sadden to admit that when I sit down to think about what I want to say I find that it is nothing. Life right now is so so hard for us and I am falling victim to the despair of it all. I don't want to look back on this time and remember. I don't want to even acknowledge it now. And that is so so sad to me because I should be feeling so much joy. I'm not saying that nothing should be wrong for me, and that my life should be perfect, but rather I should be better about focusing on the joy that is in this life, not the hardship. I am pregnant with a much loved and fought for baby. My husband is alive and in good health. My son is healthy and growing and becoming an amazing little person. I got to eat dinner tonight until I was full and will get to lay my head down on a pillow in a warm and dry house. I am blessed. I just need to remember it.

Sweet sweet music

2009-09-20T19:31:00.002-05:00

One of the best sounds I have ever heard is the conversation taking place between my husband and my son, right now, in our hall bathroom. It is so amazing to get to know my son through the words he choses to use. The thoughts he has to express to us. I am supremely blessed to have this life.

Please Hold...

2009-05-26T11:59:00.004-05:00

Yeah, so I know, I'm a slacker. Life has been hectic, so you gotta cut me some slack. Don-e's heart has been acting up, and I will be done working at this job in less than four days and I just don't have to time, or mental space available to write right now. Will get back to it next week to give more details about what is going on.

For now I leave you with a picture of a sleeping baby from yesterday afternoon.

Secrets. But not about the Garden.

2009-05-07T14:06:00.004-05:00

I have a confession.

See, almost all of the pictures that I post on here are taken with my iphone. Most of the pictures that you see are ones that I take with the specific purpose of posting them here, and doing so with my iphone is really convenient. From my phone I can email them to my computer for uploading as opposed to having to download my camera every day or so. Plus, the camera that we have is several years old, and not the greatest thing to begin with.

For right now this is a pretty good system.

But really, deep down, if I could have my way......
I really really want a good camera. Something that gives me more control over the speed and aperture and focus. Something that I can put different types of lenses on to achieve different types of effects.
Something like this...
Something that would allow me to create art, not just take a picture.
I know I have no where close to my husband's creative ability. Not even a fraction of a fraction. But sometimes I see something, and it creates a snapshot in my mind, something that I know could be beautifully capture and enjoyed for more than just the moment that it occurs. And it makes me want to create.
Someday, because this isn't something that just popped into my mind in the last month or two, I will be able to put aside the money to pursue this hobby. But for now we both have to be satisfied with shots like this.

But I guess it really isn't that much of a hardship, is it?

Dirt

2009-05-05T15:07:00.008-05:00

On my birthday about the only thing that I could come up with that I wanted to do was plant a garden. And being the amazing man that he is my husband agreed, and helped me haul dirt and wood and dig and get sweaty.

We got it done relatively quickly and inexpensively. But I had a ton of fun. There is such excitement in putting something in the ground for the specific reason of having it grow and be productive. And it is substantially less expensive and nerve-racking than having kids that are supposed to grow and be productive.

Although the one we do have is pretty cute. And I suppose it is a little late to be changing my mind about having kids, right?

It is really late in the season to be planing here. (Isn't that funny? Reno hasn't even begun theit growing season!) Because of the lateness we didn't have very many options about what we could plant. We planted a few different types of peppers, some squash, herbs and onions. Oh, and strawberries! The things on the very end are the berries. They are what I am most excited about. Mainly because they are one of the only two things that we planted that I like to eat.

Elijah took this picture. Genius baby, no?

It was really funny though, when we got done. I had wanted to plant stuff that weekend specifically because a co-worked had given me some tomato plants and they needed to go in the ground quickly. So I had prepped the bed, gone to Lowe's to get the rest of the plants and supplies we need, and then come straight home and done the planting. Only to clean up and walk back inside and realize that my tomato plants were still sitting in my kitchen window. And I had not left any room in the only planting bed we have. Genius mother, no?

Beds

2009-04-21T14:38:00.002-05:00

On Saturday we converted Elijah's crib to a 'regular' toddler bed. It was very exciting, but at the same time I was very sad to admit that he was ready for it. There isn't much left that ties him to babyhood. So far though, he has done remarkably well with this new freedom. Every time we have laid him down he has gone right to sleep and while most of the time we have to wake him up in the morning Don-e told me that this morning he was already awake and sitting up on his bed. He just didn't get out of it until Don-e went in to get him. I have a pretty spectacular kid if I do say so myself!
The one thing that I am finding most difficult with this whole thing is finding bedding. His new bed is actually just his crib, missing one side. There are a few other modifications that happen, supports for keeping the mattress in place and removal of the track for the drop down side of the crib, but it uses the same size of mattress. While babies are small you are not supposed to use blankets or sheets to cut down on the risk of smothering, which means no one makes them, at least that I have found, for crib sized toddler beds. My Mom made Elijah a blanket for Christmas that is really neat and comfy but as it gets hotter here it will be impossible to use. I think I am going to have to make stuff myself, because all he is really going to need in the summer months is a sheet and maybe a light blanket, depending on how high we have the air on. Plus we are really hoping that he will only use it for a few months until we have the need for a crib again. No, I am not pregnant we are just hoping it will happen. At that point we will buy Elijah a larger size bed of his own.
Any advice on making sheets and/or light blankets?

Endings just signify a new beginning....

2009-04-17T14:40:00.002-05:00

Cycle Day 14- Should be ovulating....

Don-e and I have decided that if we do not get pregnant this month we are going to back-off from trying. We will not stop, but we will no longer track and time and plan and keep ourselves (myself) from doing things that might hurt a possible baby if I manage to actually get knocked up. I do not like who this whole process has made me become. I am not a worrier, I am not a stresser-outer. But trying to conceive has made me both of those things. I am not an overly emotional person but have become one. I still want a baby. I still want to give Elijah a sibling. But not at the expense of these precious months of my son's life. Not at the expense of my overall wellbeing. This month we have done everything we can to help the process along. We will again this weekend rival a pair of springtime rabbits. And then for two weeks more I will wait and hope and pray. And then in two more weeks if it has not worked I am picking up where I left off. I will start aggressively workout again, for me, without thinking about the 'what-ifs' and the 'could-bes'. If I want to have a beer with some friends I will, without convincing myself that I can't because it might stay in my system for the next week and kill my poor, unsuspecting egg. And I will whole-heartedly enjoy the son that I do have. Without the thought that he will be the only time I got to be pregnant, the only time to smell my own newborn but rather with the acknowledgment of the blessing that I have in every day of his life.

Birthday Boy

2009-04-13T14:31:00.019-05:00

Two years and two minutes ago I gave birth to my Elijah James. It has been an amazing pair of years.

Happy Birthday little man.

Eggs

2009-04-07T15:59:00.013-05:00

We colored Easter Eggs this past Sunday that we will put out for Elijah to hunt this weekend before Church. Thought I would share some pictures with you...

Work is crazy busy so I have no time to write. So this is the best I've got for you. Oh, and Elijah has gotten a hair cut since then!

Stupid Jerk

2009-04-01T08:48:00.002-05:00

So this morning I asked Don-e to email me something that is on our lap top before he left for work, as I had forgotten to make a copy of it before I left for work myself. I requested this little act in a text message. He writes back "What happened to the lap top?". Immediately the worst starts flashing through my mind...every single picture ever taken of Elijah......my sister's wedding video......years worth of financial records.....our company's books......pretty much my entire life. So I shoot him a text asking what he means, but then decided that wasn't good enough and called him. He tells me that part of the computer where we plug-in the charger has been completely ripped out. He can't even open it. He mutters through a few more things, I stammer that maybe one of the dogs stepped on it and he all of a sudden tells me he has to call me back. I almost cried. On top of all the things I had already been thinking about I start thinking about the cost of replacing it and what that will mean to our three months plan, our taxes that haven't been finished yet, both business and personal, because of some info our CPA is waiting on that is on that computer, and on and on and on.
Ten minutes later I get an email. Subject line- April Fool's.
Stupid Stupid Jerk.

Stones and Rainbows

2009-03-26T12:49:00.014-05:00

Oh my gosh ya'll. We got the most awesome storm here last night. I have never, never seen anything like it. It has been kinda rainy here the last several days but I had thought that by yesterday afternoon things were supposed to start clearing up and then it would be clear through this weekend. When I left work last night while walking out to the parking garage I overheard some people commenting that 'it' was on 'its' way. They were pointing toward the darkened sky. About half-way through my thirty minute commute I heard a severe thunderstorm warning for several counties about an hour northwest of us. The warning had moved to our county and added a tornado warning by the time I got home. I spent five minutes picking up the lawn tools and toys in the backyard. Don-e called only minutes after I got back inside to tell me to move our car, which we normally parked outside, down the street to his parents house under their carport because golf ball sized hail would be in our area in twenty minutes. I grabbed Elijah and we moved the car down the street but instead of waiting there for Don-e to pick us up like we had planned I made the choice to try to beat the storm and walk home. We made it, with Don-e not five minutes behind us. Within another five it hit. The hail started off relatively small, and to be honest it was more than I ever expected it to be. We have gotten several of these hail warnings since we moved here but have never seen it happen. Within the twenty minutes the storm stayed in our area the stones did indeed reached the size of golf balls. We watched it rip apart several lawn chairs that had been left out on the lawn. It pulled apart strands of lights that we had hanging on our patio and shattered the bulbs. Within minutes the ground was covered. They stacked up to several inched deep. When they hit the ground they would bounce more than a foot high. All of our newly green trees where shredded.

We were in one of the worst hit areas, but not the worst. A friend of a friend was driving on one of the toll roads when she was hit. Both her windshield and rear window were shattered, while she was still driving. She told my friend that she thought she was going to die between the glass shards and pelting ice.

Skylights were broken, cars mutilated, roof destroyed.

The town that was hit just prior to ours had stones that piled up one and a half feet deep in the streets.The fire department there had to do the plowing.

A lady that I work with will have to pay two deductibles on two different cars. One for a rental she was driving and one for her car that was parked at a car dealership.

My in-laws and nephew were stuck huddled under a tree in the parking lot of the store they were going to.

But with all of that, with the fear and the destruction, there was such energy, such power alive in the air. The impact of the stones was like bullets assaulting the earth, but the battle field was majestic.

But afterwards the sky cleared and made way for a rainbow.

This Month

2009-03-25T14:32:00.002-05:00

Last month I was pretty proud of myself for how well I handled the entire cycle and the ensuing disappointment that came from one more month that did not work. I was calm during the two weeks of waiting between ovulation and getting my period. Once we knew I took action and made an appointment to see the acupuncturists. I thought that I was going to experience a renewed sense of enthusiasm because we are doing something to help things along, but the only thing that I feel is terror.
And I realized on my drive to work this morning that I am terrified of both outcomes. I am terrified that next Thursday I will find that one more month has been wasted, that once again we didn't get pregnant. We did everything that we could to help the process along. I took the suggested pills and medicines, we were timed perfectly, we 'did it' like rabbits. So if it doesn't work we will have used up all of the tricks in our bag. There will be no more actions steps that I can take to feel useful and productive. That we will never have another baby. I will never again be given the gift of carrying my husbands child in my womb. Elijah will never get to have the amazing bond there is between siblings, the ones that both Don-e and I have relied on so often in our lives.

Seeing baby commercials on the television makes my heart hurt and my eyes tear.

And yet, I know I am also afraid of finding out that in the middle of next week that it did work. That I am pregnant. Because the fear of having that, and then losing it again is almost unbearable. Last summer a very good friend of mine miscarried in the end of her first trimester. I wept with her and then went home and looked at Elijah and wondered how anyone could stand it. I sit here and write this and still wonder that.

We lost our second child in December.

A friend of mine is due any minute and yet I feel such fear for them because I know that there is still a chance that they will not get to come home with a baby. It is not the same friend. They are still trying to conceive again.
And I am so mad that I feel this way. That I have these thought. There is nothing more natural than a man and a woman coming together to make new life, so why is it so hard for so many people? Why is it that something that is supposed to be so joyful is causing me so much pain?

2009-03-20T14:25:00.002-05:00

*Cycle Day 16*- Starting the long loooong time of waiting. There are 14 days until we will know if this month worked..

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Our plans for this weekend are to attack our yard with some very aggressive yard work. This past week we got the very large red-tip photena that line our backyard trimmed back, which now means we can started cleaning up the leaves and debris that have lived under them for years. These things took up more than 10 feet on both side of the yard, and when you take into consideration that our yard is almost exactly 100 ft long AND wide, it makes for a lot of clean up. I am excited about it though. We really want to focus on the yard this year, as it has been greatly neglected since we bought the house two years ago. (On a brief side note, I can not believe that it has been two years!)

We want to clean up under these shrub things, then install some edging to create a distinct lawn area/planting bed area. Our next step is to re-seed the lawn. Then some planting under the shrubs, some mulch and it will be beautiful! Don-e does also want to install a larger patio area off the back of the house, but because of our septic system it has to be done in pavers and that is pricey!! Might have to wait on that awhile.

Our goal for getting the yard at least part-way done is Easter weekend, which also happens to be Elijah's birthday weekend. We've (I've) decided that we should have an annual Easter party, in much the same way people have annual Christmas parties. If we can pull it off this year we will get off lucky because we can also make it Elijah's birthday party. (Again, can't believe it has been two years!)

Keep your fingers crossed for us, and I will try to show you pictures as things progress!

On getting stuck..

2009-03-19T14:27:00.009-05:00

*Day 15*- Ovulating...

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On Sunday I went to an acupuncturist. A friend of mine that has diagnosed fertility problems starting seeing an acupuncturist on the recommendation of her ob/gyn and ended up getting pregnant the first month into her treatment. So, because I am getting close to the point of craziness over not being able to get pregnant we thought we would give it a try. We found a lady on the recommendation of another friend and she turned out to be the cutest, tiniest white soccer mom (totally unexpected) but was really friendly and she seemed to be very knowledgeable. She ran a few tests on me and found out that the only system that is out of wack is my urogenital system. Which is primarily my kidneys and ovaries. Perfect, no? She recommended a few supplements that should help boost my system and I did about 15 minutes of acupuncture. I can't really say that it was weird to have a bunch of needles sticking in various points of my body because you can't feel them. It was a bit odd to be able to see the one in my forehead though. I will go back for two more one hour sessions over the course of the next four weeks and take the recommended supplements. Kim, my acupuncturist, thinks that after that, more or less, I should be pretty good. She did recommend that we do not try to get pregnant during that time, but after talking about it Don-e and I are not willing to give up two more months of time. My regular doctor ran all kinds of test in January and she didn't find anything so we are not worried about anything being too seriously wrong. I really think that our hold up has been more effected by my stress level and not taking very good care of myself. So I am going to take my vitamins and try to relax! One other thing that Kim told me that I found interesting is that Chinese medicine associates a women's ovaries with her creativity. When she asked me what I do to express myself creatively right away Don-e blurted out writing so Kim said that I need to write, or express myself as creatively as possible to help stimulate my ovaries. Which has been hard because I haven't been compelled to write for awhile, which is probably because my ovaries are block! But here I am, trying to be creative. But if what you are reading sucks we are going to blame it on my ovaries.

Pee and Donuts

2009-03-09T15:53:00.002-05:00

This weekend Don-e had to meet with one of the Pastors that we do work for so we attended his church instead of our normal home church. It was a ton of fun and very productive for Don-e. The church we attend now is huge, somewhere around 6,000 people, so it was nice to experience a small church again. This plant church is in a little town just north of us called Round Rock. (Trivia fact- Round Rock is also the town where my ob-gyn is and therefore the town Elijah was born in!) A few weeks ago we were watching the Travel Channel and they had a show on a couple of the restaurants in and around Austin. None of which we have been to by-the-way. But anyway, one of the places they featured was a donut shop in Round Rock called, surprisingly, Round Rock Donuts. Little bitty place, fabulous donuts but one of the things that they are known for is a enormous donut. Something ridiculous like 12 lbs. This is a horrible picture of Elijah, but if you look in the upper right-hand corner of the display case you can see part of one of these donut monsters.

We did not try one. Maybe if we ever become a family of twelve. Maybe then we could consume this thing.

But probably not.

In other exciting news, Elijah went pee in the potty for the first time yesterday. He was running around in the nude after his bath and peed on the carpet. So I was cleaning this up and telling him that no, we don't pee on the carpet we only pee in the potty or in our diapers. (I did refrain from rubbing his nose in it.) So not three minutes later he is bouncing around saying PEE! PEE!! I made the assumption that he had peed again, but after a few more seconds of this little potty dance the light dawns and I hurry him off to his little potty in his bathroom. He sits down and starts peeing like he knew what he was doing! He did try to stand up in the middle of peeing, like all he had to accomplish was starting the stream of urine, but it's a good start, right? Anyway, I squeal and cheer like only someone who has changed diaper for two years could and then I tell Elijah to go get Daddy to share in the exciting news. Elijah drags Don-e into the bathroom and the cheering and squealing begins again. Just for your information Don-e took pictures of the pee, in the potty. And while I flushed the pee. I will not subject you to those. Then Elijah says Pee! again, and sits right down and does it again. Such a stud that kid. Guess I need to start reading up on how to actually go about potty-training. Eek!

Hey, what do you think of the design? Don-e threw it together for me after much begging and pleading and bribing. Hopefully I can get him to finish the rest of it soon...

2009-03-04T12:05:00.003-06:00

*Cycle Day 28*- Spotting this morning. Looks like it didn't happen this month. I don't want to talk about it. At all.

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While we were on our trip Elijah kept trying to drag around our luggage, all by himself. Full sized, stuffed full luggage. When my mother-in-law picked us up from the airport the child had to pull our rolling suitcase all by himself, and would scream if we even tried to help him. He and I finally reached a compromise and we made it to our car, but we decided that we needed to get him his own rolling bag to use on any future trips. This weekend when we were at Wal-Mart we found one that would work perfectly.

He loves this little bag. We gave it to him to walk around the store with, and he drug it around behind him very proudly. Anytime he wanted to stop and look at anything he would very precisely put the handle down and do what needed to be done before he went back to parading this bag around. It was the cutest, funniest thing until we got to the check-out line and realized that he had stuffed the thing full! I had been giving him little things to put in it as we shopped but apparently he didn't think it was enough!!

Now he walks around the house with it, proudly announcing to anyone that will listen, "bag!".

Home again, home again.

2009-02-26T15:39:00.005-06:00

Day 22- Waiting... I ovulated on the 19th, which was day 15 of the cycle.

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Just got back from a week long trip to Reno. I am very very tired. Almost fell asleep on the way to work this morning even!
Jimmy was home on his mid-tour leave so Don-e and I decided to take a week and go home to spend time with my family. All of us getting together doesn't happen very often so we try to do what we can to make it happen when possible.
My brother looked pretty good, and I think coming home did him some good. The last time I saw him he had lost a bunch of weight but this time he had gained a lot of mass back and looked pretty good. The time went by too fast, as it always does but overall it was a great trip. Elijah did okay, but not great. I think he had a harder time adjusting to the different time zone this time around so there were lots of grumpy spells. This trip was the last time he will get to fly for free and I am very glad for that. It will make taking trips that much more costly for us, but he is WAY to big to be riding on our laps.

I leave you today with a picture of two of my three boys, because I have no more energy for you.

2009-02-16T15:50:00.002-06:00

*Day 12- nothing exciting.

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This past weekend was the laziest we have had in a very long time. But it felt very good. I think we needed it. See, we were supposed to be flying out Saturday morning to Reno to visit the family and my brother who is coming home on his mid-tour leave. I am very excited about that, let me just say. But our plans were to leave early Saturday and be gone until the following Friday but Jimmy got held up in Baghdad until today. Which means he won't be home until the 18th which would have only given us a day and a half with him. So we are not leaving until Wednesday morning. We will probably only beat him home by a couple of hours. But because of the change in plans this weekend was ultimately a free weekend. There wasn't anything I needed to do, we had no plans so we didn't do anything. We didn't plan anything. Saturday I didn't even get out of my pajamas! Pure bliss.

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Elijah's newest vocabulary addition is "I did it!". Cutest thing ever! He sounds so much like a baby and he is always so excited with whatever he just did. I need to figure out how to put videos up here. Maybe that would push me to be better about filming more of our day to day life. He also wants to walk on his own, everywhere. So cute, but we are finding it hard to adjust to having a real live kid. There is no more baby in him. He tells us when he is hungry, when he wants to sleep or play or go bye-bye. He tries to close every door within sight and always wants to have his shoes on. And he gives fish kisses. Good ones.

Goose

2009-02-10T12:34:00.001-06:00

* Cycle Update- Day 6 Will begin taking Robitussin tonight.

Saturday we took Elijah to a little park near our house with the intentions of feeding some ducks that hang out there regularly. I remember doing this as a kid, and it was so much fun. There is a park in Reno that has a fairly good size pond and I remember there were always millions of duck hanging out. After feeding the ducks we got to play at the playground, which that combined with ducks always makes for a pretty awesome Saturday. I thought it would be nice to start the same tradition with my family. So we head to this little pond, bread in tow. There are like five ducks and three geese. The pond level is so low that we could barely get down to the water because of a normally submerged bank creating a cliff. And apparently these quackers were hungry. Before we get within 30 feet of where they are standing they start honking and screeching and waddling our way. Now, I should clarify that they ducks were very well behaved. The geese were the culprits in our little adventure. We start throwing our hunks of bread, while Elijah happily yells quack quack over and over. But this one stupid geese keeps getting closer and closer. I move back. He comes closer. I move back.
You can see where this is going.
The stupid thing charges Elijah. Wings spread, beak wide, this damn thing attacks. I lunge in and snatch Elijah up, managing to scratch him in the process. Then the stupid thing goes after me. He won. I still have a nasty, beak shaped bruise. All the while Don-e is laughing. My only consolation was that mere minutes later the same one went after Don-e and he ran like a little girl, swinging the bag of bread.
I at least kicked the damn thing.

Whoops

2009-02-06T15:47:00.002-06:00

I just realized that I published that without having called my mother first. Hi Mom! If you read this before I get a chance to call you and inform you of all of this, I'm sorry!

Always with the questions

2009-02-06T15:45:00.001-06:00

I do not know if I am pregnant or not. This is a difficult place to be. By the time you are reading this post it will be several weeks old, but if I am pregnant we want to tell my family in person. Which we will be able to do next weekend, when we go home to see my brother on his mid-tour leave. So for that reason you will not be able to read this until I either know without a doubt that I am not pregnant, or I have had a chance to tell my family. But I guess for all of this to make sense I need to back up a little bit.

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I wrote that yesterday. You are reading this today. Guess what that means? I guess now I do need to tell you the whole story...

At the end of last March I wrote on this blog that Don-e and I were going to start trying to get pregnant. At that time it was more that we were no longer trying to not get pregnant. Or, we were playing soccer without a goalie as I heard it so eloquently put once. Then, the last day of July Don-e got sick. We never starting using birth control again, but our focus was turned to fixing our life and Don-e's health. But by about Halloween I had the itch again so I started paying closer attention to the calendar and making sure we were timing things right. In December we got pregnant but lost it barely two weeks into it. In January I went in and had some testing done. Everything came back normal. In the follow up appointment with my doctor after the testing she came to the conclusion that it is very likely that there was nothing wrong with our trying before Don-e got sick. Nothing happening in 4 months is considered normal, especially when coming off birth control. She does think that it is very likely that all of the medications that Don-e was given during his stay in the ICU could have caused him to have a tainted and poor sperm supply, thus causing our problem since then. Apparently the male reproductive system only regenerates every 72 days, so with that time frame Don-e would only now be regenerating a new supply since the last time he took the hard-core meds they had him on. She said we should try with ovulation testing for three months and then if nothing has happened we could discuss the possibility of more testing.

I got a positive pregnancy test on Monday. I have gotten two negatives and have started bleeding since then. It is clumpy and painful like the mis-carriage I had in December. I don't know what to think. I have always had very easy, painless cycles. Always started the same time of day, 28 days from the last time. Completely done in five days. Now, I do know that as they age some women have experienced a change in the normalcy of their cycles. Maybe mine are changing. Maybe that is what this month means. I know I was pregnant in December. This time I am not sure if I was, or we just got a faulty test. Right now I am waiting to hear back from our doctor. Hopefully she can shine some light on this mess.

Unsettled

2009-01-29T15:29:00.001-06:00

I have come to realize, in these last few weeks of my 24th year, that I have always had a huge misconception of what life should be like. I have always thought that it should be normal, in the very sense of the word. But while whomever first started spreading this misconception was badly mistaken I am beginning to think that it could very well have been just some other person trying so hard, like me, to live a normal life. They, like me, just didn't realize that normal isn't possible. Now, I may be acting far more melodramatic than is necessary, but I am so ready for simple. Easy. Not boring, and never without good doses of love and passion of all kinds, but without chaos. Without drama and crisis. Without heartbreak and loss. But this does not seem to be a description that can be applied to our life. Please do not misconstrue my message here, we have had very happy times. I have never experienced joy like that which I have experienced since marrying Don-e, since becoming a mother, but it has never been normal.

Don-e is completely healed from the myocarditis. At this point there is no indication of any residual damage. His blood pressure is still slightly elevated and his cholesterol is on the high side but comparatively these are minor issues. He will be on blood pressure medication for awhile. He has to take more fish oil on a daily basis. More tests will be run to check the progression on his heart's reconstruction. But I am still not fully recovered from the emotional toll the episode took. We financially are not caught up. My over-all health was pushed to the bottom of the priority list and I am now having to deal with the repercussions of that.

We got pregnant in December. We lost the baby barely two weeks into it. They say it is called a chemical pregnancy. That is the classification of a pregnancy before it is visible on an ultrasound machine. After it is, it is referred to as a clinical pregnancy. After some testing it appears that I am completely healthy.

We have been trying since April. My doctor thinks that this is a result of some of the medications that they had Don-e on during his stint in the ICU. That at this point they should just about be out of his system and we should start aggressively trying. I guess we'll see, won't we.

My sister miscarried last week as well. It breaks my heart to even type that.

As I type all of this I am frustrated with myself. Frustrated that I am allowing any portion of these unsettling times to effect me. Because I know. I know that through Christ I can do all things. That He will never allow a burden I can not handle. But, oh, I am weak. My flesh is weak. I am finding comfort in that though. Because in my weakness HE is strong.

Snow vs. Powdered Sugar

2008-12-10T15:23:00.003-06:00

It snowed here last night ya'll. As in white stuff, from the sky, that was still on the ground when I got up this morning. Crazy, huh? I took some pictures of it, but didn't get a chance to look at how they came out. Oh, and it is only 45 degrees here right now. Wind chill makes it 37. Have I mentioned that my Grandparents are on their way here, right now, to escape the coldness in Nevada?

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In other news, I thought I would show you some more pictures of the holiday cheer I have in my life right now. This one is not big, but it is at my office, and as this is where I spend a majority of my waking hours I needed a little something.

What do you think of my cubicle. Comfy, no? Eh, whatever. It works. I am like one of seven out of seventy that does not get an office, but who's counting? Not to mention that I am about as low on the food chain around here as you can get.

Oh and take a look at the break room here....
Just gaze at all of the temptation that I am having to overcome......

And there are still two more weeks until Christmas......

Oh.... Christmas Tree

2008-12-08T14:41:00.002-06:00

We decorated our Christmas tree this past weekend, and in attempt to make this blog a bit more festive I thought I would show you a picture. We ended up buying a new tree this year, one that is a better size for our living room. Or more specifically one that is better suited to the ceilings in our living room. For those of you that have not yet been to our home, the ceiling in there slants to some ridiculous height of 400 feet or so. Last year we only had a 6 1/2 ft tree, that we put up on a table but that was more for the crawling little thing we had in our house.
Take a look at this one and let me know what you think. It is a 'themed' tree. Or, I guess more accurately a color-coordinated tree. Everything is either blue or silver or white. What do you think of these themed trees? Don-e grew up with themed trees, whereas I did not. Everything was free game for our trees. But most especially honored were all of the ornaments that we, as kids, made. There is were my concern comes in. What to do with everything that our kid(s) make? Any ideas? I love our tree, but I also love the look of good ol' fashion hodgepodge.

Amoxacillan

2008-12-02T10:34:00.001-06:00

Elijah is on his first round of antibiotics, ever. Poor baby. He has a form of laryngitis and a sinus infection. The good news is he slept through the night last night, which was the first time in more than a week. I am hoping that a good nights sleep will go a long way to making him better faster. The form of laryngitis that he has is manifesting as a terrible cough but the doctor also gave us a really good cough medicine. I think that is what made the good sleep happen last night. For the past few nights he has been coughing so bad in his sleep that he will wake up throwing up. Pretty gross, and not a pleasant way to wake up, I'm sure. I just have to admit that I am very VERY glad he slept through the night, because I got to sleep through the night. I was turning into a zombie, only without the whole 'eating people' thing. Not to mention the heartburn I have had because of all the coffee!!!

On another note, I think I will be writing out the events of Don-e's heart thing, as the two of you that read this suggested. I don't keep a personal journal, at least not very well. That is what the point of this site is. A way to document our day to day lives. I also was to write the story of Elijah's birth. I started it shortly after he was born, but reliving it always kinda overwhelmed me. I am hoping that enough time has passed that I can get through writing it now!!

Oh, and also... Elijah said 'I love you' for the first time this weekend. And that sound, the one you are hearing right now... that is the sound of my heart bursting.

Todays...

2008-11-25T13:53:00.002-06:00

Thanksgiving is in two days. TWO DAYS!! Can you believe it? I can not. Unfathomable to me. This year has flown by in a way I never imagined possible. And there are no signs to indicate that this break-neck pace will slow down for next year. Sometimes I think that Don-e and I's life together has flown by so fast because we have had non-stop stuff ever since we got married. Almost everything that is said to be stressful on a marriage has happened to us in our short four years together. Moving across the country? Check. Buying a house? Check. Having a kid? Check. Severe illness? Check. Starting a new business? Check. Financial hardship? Double Check. Lost jobs? Check. Relational Issues? Check. And this isn't even a completely comprehensive list. Sheesh. I just got tired writing that. And another three minutes, gone. *Poof* But then I think about where we might be had none of these things happened. And I wonder how bored I would have been. I wonder how strong our marriage would really be had it not been tested time and again. I guess I am telling you all of this to inform you that things are still very very crazy for us, but we are good. So very very good.

Now, I know that eons ago I promised you the story of Don-e's heart thing, but really, at this point it is old news. No one really cares anymore, do you? He has been 100% completely released from his cardiologist with a perfect health report and no indication of any residual damage. They still have no idea of the cause, or what fixed it for that matter. But I suppose if anyone were still really really interested in the story I will write it. Just leave a comment on this here post and I will provide. Those of you who know me know I aim to please!!!

On a more recent note, I have started working again in a real live job. I even get a paycheck every once in a while. This did come about out of financial necessity, apparently almost dying is expensive, but I would be lying if I told you I do not enjoy it. I love the sense of accomplishment that there is in gainful employment, so much more than is ever received from 'just being a mom'. Not to say that it wasn't deserved, just isn't received. The company is called Brigham Oil & Gas, and is an oil and natural gas exploration company. It is really interesting work, and I learn something new everyday. I will share more on it soon, as well as all the other exciting things that are going on in our life!

Living Life

2008-08-29T12:57:00.002-05:00

Just wanted to touch base with everyone out there in internetland to let you all know that we are in fact, alive. Doing well even. Don-e is feeling very good most days and has gone back to work on a full time basis. Elijah is doing great and has learned just how good screaming the word 'no' can feel. And I am hanging on. I wish I could report that I am good, but I am not quite back to that point yet. I don't have a job yet, which is making money very very tight, but I do have several good prospects. I promise that I will record the story of Don-e's hopitalization, just not quite yet.
I hope everyone has a great Labor Day weekend, and if you do so, please pray for my brother. He leaves Tuesday.

Ever wondered how to make your life more exciting?

2008-08-15T13:39:00.003-05:00

Take a trip to the emergency room on an otherwise normal Thursday evening, and then stay for the next week.....

The full story to come soon, but I just don't have the energy yet.

Here's your pepper spray...

2008-07-30T10:50:00.003-05:00

Ya'll I am terrified. We have our very first women's self defense seminar this weekend and I am scared to death. Logically I know that it will be awesome, but that logic is just not translating to my gut. The gut keeps doing summersaults anytime I think about it. And as it is the day after tomorrow I am thinking about it a lot. We have gotten a huge response for it, at last count we were close to 50 paid-for attendees. That being said, we have no choice but to be great. Because I go to church with these women. I work for some of them, I call some of them friends.

Ugh.

I taught a self defense class once upon a time, but it was pretty close to a disaster. It was through the dojo where I trained, and was working for at the time. We got a pretty poor response, about 6 women, and I wasn't told until the very last minute that I was actually teaching the thing. And by last minute I mean after the women had been waiting to begin for about 10 minutes and I had tracked down our head instructor to tell him to get a move on only to be told, that no, you are teaching. Get to it.

It did not go real well.

Don-e on the other hand as taught many of these, to great success. Our studio was actually known in the town we are from for having 'hot' instructors. Women ranging from 15 to 80 would sign up for our classes just for the chance to be handles a bit by them. Don-e was one of them. Needless to say he is not nervous. The man is a natural born teacher so I suppose this would be no different for him. But I am not sure that I won't be sick. Hopefully just not while in the middle of it...

Something about a jet plane.

2008-07-29T09:26:00.004-05:00

So you all know my brother right?

Well, meet PFC Morgan Miller, aka Jimmy, aka MJ. He is a sniper in the Army, 4th infantry division based in Colorado Springs, Colorado. And he is deploying September 1st. A month from now. I will not see my brother for a year. I am not sure that 9 words strung together to make a sentence has ever made me want to cry more than that. I will not see my brother for a year, and in that year I am sure that he will live through the closest thing to hell on earth that we've got. He is 19. He is 19, and one of the greatest men I have ever met.

I have a question to pose to all of you. When is the last time you thanked a soldier for their service? Have you ever? Well, you should. You need to. I don't really care what your stance on the war is, and it doesn't really matter. The men and women who give even two years of their life to defend what this country is, and what it stands for, deserve every honor that we can give them. Even if it is you stopping them on the street to say thank you.

We are going to Colorado to see him one more time before he goes, and to pick up his car and personal belongings. He wants to store all of his things at our house while he is gone, plus we still only have one car so he is letting us drive his. Great guy, huh? We are going to fly out (on a jet plane) August 22nd and drive back that Sunday.

Oh and did I mention that we are not taking Elijah with us. That it will be the first time we have been away from him for more than a few hours. And we are going to be gone for an entire weekend. AN ENTIRE WEEKEND!!! UGH.

Thank you M.

Going back...

2008-07-28T16:05:00.004-05:00

So it appears that I am going back to work. By work I mean an office job, where I am paid a decent amount for the hours that fall between 8 am and 5 pm, give or take. For the past

year-ish I have been watching a little boy who is two months older than Elijah during the day.

The extra income allowed me to be able to stay home, and eat on a regular basis, but it is stopping in 3 short weeks. His parents are wanting him in a more structured pre-school type setting starting when he turns 18 months. He will be so exactly 3 weeks from today. I am excited though. A second, full income will make things way more comfortable around here, and on top of that I am excited about joining the real world again.

It was really hard to take at first though. I mean, I have watched this kid for most of his life. Since he was 4-months old. I watched him learn to sit up, to crawl, to walk. I taught him what a doggy says, and how to sign 'thank you'. And more than just being about me, he and Elijah are like brothers. They play so well together. I almost think that they are slow to talk because they have their own language, much like twins do. Don't get me wrong, they have also learned to hit, and shove and bite on each other, but I think that has made them all the more like brothers. I have threatened his parents that I know where they live if we do not stay in contact with each other, and let the boys get together often to play. They feel the same way.

Our little family is going to miss having our Thae-Thae-Shaney-Ney on a daily basis, that is for sure.

2008-07-18T10:20:00.007-05:00

*thump* *thump*

"testing..... testing........"

"anybody out there................?"

Well, hopefully. Although I can not blame you if you've decided to leave me. It has been days since I posted last. But in my defense anything that I would have written would not have been worth reading. I don't know what happened to me, but it was bad. Real bad. There was such anger, and, and.... anger. I was just mad. At everything. And anything. But, I think I am past that. A big part of getting past it was seeing my family. Until I moved here I never knew how much my family centers me. My husband and my son make me flourish, but my mom, my brother and my sister ground me. The people I come from give me my base to be who I am. And so now I am going to celebrate that with pictures!!

To start us off, the hotness. It is blinding.

This is my brother. In case you haven't had to listen to me brag about it, he is a sniper in the Army. It was amazing to see what he could do with the low-grade weapons we went shooting with. I would love to one day see what he can do with is 50-cal.

This is my mommy, my baby and my Papa.

These right here, these are my people. And my sister looks like me, not the other way around.

My Grandma and this kid that was following us around our whole trip.

It doesn't get much cheesier than this.

Four generations right there. And some of the best salmon I have ever had.

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More to come later, but I have to go get ready to take this kid that has shown up in my house and done something with my baby to his 15 month check-up. Eeeck!

Please don't call CPS.

2008-06-12T14:16:00.005-05:00

Ahh... it is good to be back. Those weeks of working while taking care of my boys were crazy. I really did enjoy the work, but I am also enjoying the non-work!

Things are really good with us. Not a whole lot is going on really. My nephew, Christian is in town from Chicago visiting for a few weeks. His Mom, Don-e's sister, will be here in July so we are looking forward to that. Don and Michelle celebrated their 30th anniversary on the 10th, so congrats to them.

Oh, we are (hopefully) going to Reno for the Fourth of July weekend. My brother will be there visiting at the same time so we will (hopefully) get to see the whole family.

This last weekend we went out with some friends on their boat. It was Elijah's first time, and while he wasn't a big fan of the lifejacket he had to where, as you will see in the picture below, he had a really really good time. Hence the request that you not call CPS.

Hello My Peps.

2008-05-23T15:42:00.002-05:00

I am not pregnant. And a little frustrated about it too.

Blah.

Moving on.....

How is your day? All is well over here on this Eve of Memorial Day Weekend. It is very hot though. I am pretty sure we are going to beat the heat by swimming as much as possible this weekend. Thanks Don and Michelle!

The crazy busyness is as crazy as ever, but our friends will be home next week, and I am pretty sure I will miss the working. From what they have told me though, they are having a great time. I actually googled one of the beach towns they visited in Italy to be able to show you pictures but for whatever reason got a bunch of porn so I got scared and slammed the computer closed.

The kid is saying dog pretty much constantly now. Only he doesn't say the g, and every time he says it he had to say it 15 times right in a row. But it is cute, and we are one word closer to the 10 he is supposed to be able to say by 15 months. Oh, and if you play patty cake with him he will do the 'roll it' part and the 'mark it part'. The cuteness around here threatens to consume us all.

Tonight we are going to a movie in the park with some friends. Should be fun, I am just hoping that we don't get some freak rain storm with as humid as it is today!

No time to talk.

2008-05-14T13:02:00.003-05:00

So, I have been slacking, I know. But I am SO busy. See, some friends of ours are in Europe for 3 weeks this month, and while they are there I am baby sitting their company. They own a tile distribution company, but all I am pretty much doing is answering the phone and sending out quotes. But oh-my-lands people, I am not used to working. I guess more than that I am not used to working with two little children running around all the time. But I am loving it. I have missed working, or more specifically I have missed having tangible results for my efforts. Anyway, if you don't hear from me much until June 1st you know what I am doing.

In other news, we bought a car!! Well, actually we bought an SUV. We had a 2006 Toyota Corolla, that we loved, but we owed almost $13,000 and were paying almost 18% interest. I know, I know, some of you just had a heart attack. Get back up off the floor, because we sold it. We just broke even on it, but at least we are out of it. So anyway, we have been looking for something a little older, for a lot less money and a way lower interest rate. And we found it. What we got is a 2003 Kia Sorento. It only

has 73,000 miles on it and we have a connection to a dealership here, so we got the thing for $7,750. Which was the dealers cost. Pretty great, huh?

Hey, just cause I am curious as to who is reading, leave me a comment will ya, and let me know you stopped by.

My Project

2008-05-08T11:23:00.007-05:00

Hello all, I am here to share my project with you. I am working on 'fixing up' our yard. For those of you that do not know, our house in on 1/3 of an acre, so we have a fairly large yard. There just isn't much to it. I took pictures to show you!!

This is a bed that I put in earlier this year at the back of our house. The window goes into our office/spare bedroom. Our backdoor is to the left of the brick. The plants that are coming up are some bulbs that I got from one of our neighbors and my father-in-law. I could not begin to tell you what they are. I think one of the varieties is a hybrid iris, but there is another somethingorother in there too. The problem with this bed is that

both of these flowers need way more sunlight than they are getting here. I think for this year I will leave them where they are, to see how they do. I will just need to add some more color with something that will do okay in the shade.

This bed is to the left of the back of our house. We have these horrible bazillion feet tall bushes that surround our entire backyard. We measured it out and with these things we lose 20 feet of yard space. This is the space left when we took out one of these horrible things. Don't yet know what we are going to do with it, but it is hideous and has to change.

This is just some cute kid that keeps hanging around here.

After some many weeks of him just being here I think we might just keep him.

This is the front of the house, to the left of the front door. These are some kind of holly bush that were here when we bought the house. We are not a big fan of them, but we think we might have come up with a way to make them okay. There is some room in the bed in front of them, and the front of our house really needs color, but again, there is very little sun so we are going to have to find something that will work in the shade. Anyone have any suggestions?

I am very excited that we actually are going to put some work into the yard this year. I will keep you updated on the progress, and if you have any ideas and suggestion please let me know!

Pictures. Finally.

2008-05-06T14:02:00.005-05:00

So, I know it has been something like three weeks since Elijah's birthday, but here are some pictures for ya'll.

It took Don-e days to get all of the frosting out of his ear! Happy Birthday little man!

Breast Cancer.

2008-05-05T08:50:00.002-05:00

I know it has affected everyone, everywhere. I have lost family members to this disease. I have a surrogate aunt who is currently battling this disease. How has it affected you? Click on the link. Sign the petition. Create a little character. Help fight breast cancer.

Why doesn't Starbucks deliver?

2008-04-22T11:58:00.003-05:00

Because I could go for a lot of coffee right now. A lot.

Our weekend was wonderful, but very very tiring. That kinds seems to be the theme for my life right now. Bleh.

Seattle was beautiful, even with the snow, and the wedding was wonderful. I owe you all lots of pictures, but I haven't even started unpacking yet, so you will just have to wait a bit longer.

Happy Tuesday!

Hello World.

2008-04-15T11:13:00.007-05:00

So I feel a little bit like my world is out of control. Do you ever feel that way? For the last five weeks we have been going almost non-stop. It has been a love/hate thing for me. I have been the happiest I have been in a long time, but at the same time it seems like sanity is just out of my reach. Oh well, I guess I will have plenty of time to rest when I am 80. Bring on the insanity!!

This weekend was Elijah's birthday. One whole year has gone by. And what a year it has been. We threw him a birthday party on Saturday, but I think I ended up getting the best present of all. I haven't shared a lot about my family yet, but they mean everything to me. They absolutely ground me. If I could be immersed in them everyday I couldn't be happier. Needless to say, living so far away from them has been horrible for me. But, on Friday night around 10:30 we were sitting on the couch watching a movie with some friends that had come into town for the birthday party. Then the door bells rings. Our first reaction is anger, because if whatever jerk is on the other side of that door wakes up the baby, they are in for it. So, Don-e goes to the door, and I went to the dvd player to pause the movie. (We never know where the remotes are anymore. Thanks 'Ligh!)

So anyway, just as I am starting to look up from the entertainment center my Mother walks into my living room. Yes, my Mom, the one that lives some 2,ooo miles away. She had found some plane tickets on sale and decided to surprise us! I know, amazing, right? And you want to know what the first thing out of my mouth is? The first words I say to the woman that birthed me, that I hadn't seen since October?

"Oh, shit."

Classy, huh? What can I say. I am awesome. But, even after that wonderful reunion, we had a great weekend. She only got to stay until Sunday evening, but we had a fun, relaxing weekend. She spend way too much money spoiling my child, but he loved it. His birthday party was almost as tiring as his birth (ha, I kid) but so much fun. I will share pictures soon. And, we are flying to Seattle for my cousin's wedding this weekend. We leave Friday. But, to all you robbers out there, don't even think about 'stopping by'. Our friends that live in Fort Hood are coming to stay for the weekend to keep Hero company, and they are bringing their big dogs with them. The big dogs that spent all last weekend beating up my pitbull.

I leave you with a picture from the birthday party we went to last weekend.

Only about 3 weeks late...

2008-04-04T16:10:00.004-05:00

So, I never showed you Easter pictures. Sorry..... Our kid, he is a champion egg-hunter. Even though the little girl that you can barely see in the last picture kept trying to steal his eggs.

In other news, Elijah gets to go to his first birthday party tomorrow. Not his own, but the daughter of some friends of ours that is also turning one. It should be fun. I heard mention that there will be play-doh involved, and Elijah has never experienced the stuff. I guess my kid is neglected. I can't wait to show you pictures of that!

Ugh.

2008-04-02T11:14:00.005-05:00

Have you ever had to correct something on your credit report? Anyone? Yeah, well we are in the middle of it right now. Some stupid California bank has something reported incorrectly on

Don-e's credit from a car loan that he had before we were married. Such. A. Pain. I have had to write twice trying to dispute this thing, make a billion phone calls, and we are still no where closer to having it fixed. Plus we are trying to do some movings around with our finances, and this thing is holding that up. Pain in the butt.

Anyway, I have had my rant, so on to other news.

This past weekend was so much fun with my brother and sister. I haven't seen either of them since last October so this was a big deal for me. MJ, the brother, got here late Thursday night and we had a pretty relaxed weekend. He is an infantry soldier so relaxing isn't something that he gets to do often. On Saturday we went into downtown Austin and did the touristy thing, which was fun. Don-e and I haven't gotten to know this city very well so it is nice when we have an excuse to do so. Lycia, the sister, didn't get here until Sunday evening, as she was really only here to help a friend move. They both left Monday afternoon. Wah. Elijah loved being with them though! Yeah for no more stranger anxiety!

5MinutesforMom

2008-03-25T21:52:00.001-05:00

Click, go, enjoy....

Because who doesn't love the perfect pair of jeans?

Baby Fever

2008-03-25T13:28:00.003-05:00

So, yesterday in my post I mentioned that we have decided to start trying for another baby. Did you catch that? No? Go read it, I can wait....

Anyway, yes, we are going to start trying to get pregnant again. And by trying, what I really mean is we are not going to prevent it from happening. In case you didn't know, Elijah was not a 'planned pregnancy'. We had just moved to Texas, didn't have steady income, didn't have health insurance, and were using birth control. I just love God's timing, don't you? But, of course, God provided for us in amazing ways and here we are, mere days away from a first birthday.

Before we had Elijah, and had thought that we had our life planned out exactly the way it should go, we wanted to start trying for a second child when our first child was 6 months old. That gave the first baby 6 months of breast feeding and would make our kids around 15 months apart. Our goal was to be done having kids by the time I was 25. That would mean that we could retire when our youngest was in college, or I was no older than 45. Sounds pretty perfect, no? Let me just tell you than last October, when Elijah was 6 months old, I went a little crazy inside at the idea of having another baby. Maybe a lot crazy. So, we re-worked our plans, Elijah weaned himself around 8 months, and we decided that we just didn't want our kids any farther apart than 2 years. That means we have to be pregnant by the end of July. Which would mean that our children will have been born in the same month. The same month my birthday is in.

(bleh)

But, I think that I would be okay even if we aren't pregnant by then. We have decided that after I finish the pack of birth control that I am on now, which is about 2 1/2 more weeks, I will not start another. But, we will use some other form of control for the first month. That will give me a chance to get back to a semi-normal cycle. (so sorry to any male readers!) That will put us somewhere in the first part of May. And, like I said we are not going to really be 'trying'. There will be no tracking, not temperature taking, no planning. It will happen when it happens. I have loved being a mom so much that the idea of starting it with this next kid already makes me a little sad. Sad because it will be the last time. We do not want anymore than 2 kids (sorry Grandpa Mick!). We actually for a time considered stopping with Elijah, but as the title of this post suggests, I have got the fever! Plus, we both have the most amazing relationships with our siblings and we want the same for our kids. So if it takes us a little longer than we think, and we don't make the many deadlines we have set for ourselves, I will be okay. Or maybe I just don't want to share my birthday month anymore than I already have to.

Hello. How are you?

2008-03-24T12:06:00.004-05:00

Ahhhh... crazy week. I suppose I should say crazy life, but blah, whatever.

Let us just hope that I actually write enough to be able to post it!

Don-e had a BUNCH of family in town this last week and it was crazy. But so much fun. I love having family around and this part of his is loud and chaotic, and perfect. It was his maternal grandparents, an aunt, five cousins, and a cousin-in-law. Because there were so many of them part of them stayed at the in-law's, and part of them stayed here. Somebody even slept in the garage!! We had the best time with them though. Don-e's oldest cousin and her husband are 6 months pregnant with their first, a little boy. Most of all of the conversations we had circled around pregnancy and Elijah's birth. It was really neat to sit down and talk about all of that time again. Makes me anxious to do it again! Which, by the way, we have decided to start working on....

On Sunday we visited a church that was holding an Easter egg hunt. Our church doesn't hold any kind of activities other than service, so we went to the church of some good friends of ours. Elijah did so well with the eggs. We had gone to city-sponsored hunt last weekend, but that was a disaster. There were thousands of people there, and even though they had it broken up by age, it was still a mess. We were in a group of three-and-unders and parents were allowed to 'help'. There was no helping. There was looting. Don-e said that he saw people scooping up armfuls. Big armfuls. Ugh. But! Yesterday's was so much more fun. Smaller. There were probably only 20 kids in our area. Parents were actually letting the babies toddle around and get eggs themselves. It was so much fun to watch. 'Lijah didn't get the whole, putting an egg in his basket, moving on to the next, but he loved picking up the eggs. His Mom just kept taking them to put in the basket! At one point a little girl came up to him and they were both playing with the eggs in Elijah's basket. So very cute. I can't wait until next year when he will be old enough for us to dye eggs and do a hunt in our backyard.

I am so excited, because my brother is coming to stay with us next weekend. I haven't seen him since his graduation last October. Come to think of it, I haven't seen any of my family since last October. But, ever better yet, my sister will also be here for a day next weekend. MJ has a 4 day weekend, which is why he is coming, and Lycia is driving out here with a friend who's husband just got stationed somewhere in southern Texas. Remember me mentioning that I love family? Yeah, living out here with very little family has been my own personal little hell. I do not regret coming out here at all. It was the best thing in the world for us. I just wish my family would follow. There have been talks of my Mom moving this direction at some point, but I don't think it will happen any time soon. She has some stuff going on in her life that will hold it up for some time. But there is hope!!! Anyway, I will get a little fix this weekend, and then in mid-April we are going to Seattle for my cousin Noah's wedding, and the ENTIRE family (except MJ) will be there! WOOHOO!

Here I am!

2008-02-01T13:53:00.003-06:00

We are alive! I promise! All is well and good. I just don't have anything to write. No, that is not true. Stuff has actually happened in my life the past week, I just haven't been in the right frame of mind to write. But here I am, and I am going to try. If it sucks though, it is not my fault.

First and the most exciting in the entire world, is that Elijah took his first steps this past weekend! It was amazing. Just two little steps between Don-e and I but still the greatest feat to ever be achieved. Oh, but we did not get it on camera. Oh no. The stupid thing was dead, and then when we plugged it in and tried to recreate the event super-baby disappeared into a pile of crawling mush. All week though it has been amazing to watch him continue to try out this new trick. He actually got three steps in a row the other day!

I have been thinking about the day he was born a bit the last few days, and while I will tell the story here, now is not the time. What I have been thinking about though, is how I need to make nice with someone that will have a baby sometime in the near future. I would like to experience a birth from the other end of the table. I'm pretty sure that my sister will have kids one day, but I am not sure that she will be open to very many people being in the room. I might be able to sneak in at some point though, and I am pretty sure that at that point she wont be focused on chasing me out!

I win!

2008-01-23T12:49:00.000-06:00

Rip Van Winkle ain't got nothin' on us.

2008-01-23T11:15:00.000-06:00

I am so so excited. For a number of reasons. The first and very much the most important, is that little bitty 'Lijah slept through the night last night! Woohoo! That is the first time in months. And it was almost 11 1/2 hours. I know, I know, it is hard to contain the excitement, but you must. We've been working on weaning him from eating during the night and I think it might be paying off! I know it is a bit early to be counting my chickens, or whatever, but YEAH!!!

Secondly, I am going out to a book club meeting on Friday. A book club specifically for young-adult women. So, you know, if I don't do anything to completely embarrass myself there is potential for friends! Of the local sort! The only problem is that I have to drive myself to somewhere in south Austin, at night. So if you haven't heard from me in a few days you maybe should call someone.

One thing that I am not excited about at this time is that I can not make this stupid thing upload a picture. Argh.

The average bear has got me beat.

2008-01-21T10:00:00.000-06:00

So sometimes I am not the smartest person out there. I know, I know, this comes as a shock to some of you. But it is true.

Yesterday I went to make myself a cup of coffee only to realize that we were out of cream. Now, just in case you didn't know, I don't "do" coffee black. Or with powdered creamer if I can help it. Powdered only happens in very dire situations. So yesterday you can imagine my dilemma when I discovered our shortage of cream. Oh, but wait! We have milk! All is not lost! Except that the milk expired about a week ago. But did that stop me? Oh no. "They only put those dates there as a precaution", I reasoned. "I am sure that it is fine for weeks after that", I said convincingly. Yeah, no. Not a precaution. Let me just tell you my toilet and I got very well acquainted. I shall call him squishy.

Flat Broke

2008-01-18T16:28:00.000-06:00

So, apparently having a blog is the thing for stay-at-home moms to do. Don't feel like you are getting enough adult interaction during the day? Blog. Feel like you no longer connect with anyone on a personal and intimate level. Read a blog. Feel like you have no one to listen to the struggles that you face on a day-to-day basis? Blog. Then read a blog for advise on said topic.

And I guess I am being very hypocritical by typing all of this, because hi, you are reading my blog. One that I started for the simple purpose of expressing myself (i.e. preventing the need to be put in jail) when I feel like smothering the next thing that requires me to change it's butt. And I read blogs regularly. Well, I read two blogs regularly. But I don't want that to be enough for me. I struggle with all of the problems that I listed at the beginning of this. But I don't want a band-aid type fix. I want to connect with people on a very personal basis. I want to be able to claim a few friends again.

A couple of weeks ago a friend of ours from Reno that just got stationed at Fort Hood called and asked if I could give him a ride from the airport here out to the base. I, of course, said that I could, but round trip it took about 3 1/2 hours. And he didn't land here until just after 10 pm. After I had made the plans I thought about how it might actually be fun, but I was heart broken when I realized that there was no one here that I could call up to make the trip with me. A few years ago there would have been a number of people that I could have called and the trip would have been a blast. Good conversation, loud music and junk food. But I don't have those kind of friends anymore. No one that I could say would be an unconditional friend. I don't even feel like there is anyone I can call at anytime when I need to talk. Please don't get me wrong here, my husband is an amazing listener. He is my best friend, and I can talk to him about almost anything. But that is not the only relationship that I need in my life. I want to be rich in friends. I want there to be people in my life again that are close enough to just show up at my house, unannounced, and then help themselves to my fridge. I want to feel like there is somewhere that I would be welcomed to do the same. I just don't know where to find them. Let me know if you here of a place that has them on sale.

Owie

2007-12-27T20:49:00.000-06:00

I hate hurting people. Most of the time. I will admit that there have been times in my life that I have enjoyed it, but for the most part I hate hurting people. I don't mean to sound as though I do it often, but there are times when it is unavoidable. Tonight was one of those nights. Don-e and I were given the possibility of an amazing opportunity today. One that I can not go into detail yet, but if it does happen, it will be amazing for us, our family, and the rest of our life. But taking advantage of this opportunity will hurt someone. I should say sometwo. And these are two people who mean very much to us. And this pain is one that we can not prevent. But tonight when we told them about it they cried. And even sitting here thinking about it hurts my heart. It makes me sick to my stomach even. And I hate it. Maybe what we did tonight will have all been for nothing. It was a conversation to prepare these people for something that might happen that would hurt them, and it isn't for sure that it will happen at all. So maybe tonight was all for nothing. But if it wasn't, wonderful anonymous people, please know that no matter what, no matter where, you are un-replaceable to us.

Burnt Toast

2007-12-18T12:19:00.001-06:00

I have tried really hard to fill my roll as a housewife. For the most part I really enjoy it too. I love being able to see my son first thing in the morning when has woken up of his own accord. I love those precious minutes it takes him to float back to reality. As his eyes flutter open and his whole face lights up with a smile. I love that we don't have to rush off to be anywhere five days a week, even thought this choice makes the purse strings around here a little tighter. Because I am so grateful for this situation I try to make the very best of it. I do my best to be joyful during all of it. The times that I like, and the ones that I would rather leave up to someone else. I also try to make the most of the extra time in my home that I have.

One example of that is the gifts that we have been giving to all of our neighbors for the holidays. We don't know any of them very well, even after being in this house for almost 10 months, so we thought it would be nice to give a loaf of sweet bread to all of the families that live closest to us. Specifically Amish Friendship Bread. The thing with this bread is though, that it requires a starter that supposedly only the Amish know how to make. I believe it works like a sourdough, as it has to actually ferment. So these starters take 10 days of sitting and mashing before they are ready to bake. I had the timing down perfectly. I baked the last loaves on Monday to be given out to the families of our karate students who were taking class Monday night.

So I had three of the loaves sitting on the counter, still cooling, when I started to make our dinner. Now, with our smallish kitchen I usually need all the counter space I can get when I cook, so being the fantastic genius that I am, I thought that I would put the loaves of bread into the oven! "It's turned off!", I thought, so I will just stick them in there for the few minutes it takes for me to put together dinner and then stick them in their gift bags and be done with it. Except that a few minutes into preparing dinner I remembered that I needed to preheat the oven. To 400 degrees. I did not, however, remember that I had put the bread, saran-wrap and all, into the oven. Smoke. Lots of smoke, and lots of yucky burning plastic smell. Not fun. I was so very glad that the baby was still down for his afternoon nap, as some very choice words spewed from my mouth the moment I realized what I had done. I did not give bread to these students that night. I did not re-bake bread from another of the starters that I had. I gave away every single thing Amish Friendship Bread that I had. I smiled really big, the next time I saw these people, and wished them a very "Merry Christmas".

Beginnings

2007-12-15T12:09:00.000-06:00

I tried this once before.

Obviously, it didn't work.

And yet, here I am again. Maybe this time it will work. Maybe it won't. But I need to try. Not only for myself, but because we have family spread all over the country (hi family!) that needs to know what it going on in our life. So here it is. A semi-real time account of our day-to-day. Welcome.